I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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