Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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