btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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