Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I think my nap took me to another dimension
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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