You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
