I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
