I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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