My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
