wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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