Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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