hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
