My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
this just has baby written all over it
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
