Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I will die if light touches me.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
then he tried to convert me to islam
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
