i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
