This is not my ceiling
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
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