we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
All the doctor said was why
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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