Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'm always down for nudity.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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