the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Panties = found
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