Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize