Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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