I'd wear matching sweaters with you
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'm at about main and main street
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
