u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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