is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize