Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Randomize
