And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
