To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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