My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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