It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
