its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
