im having a threesome with these popsicles
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
