My friends, they love my intelligence
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
