I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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