his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize