he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
