Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
