We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
