smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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