He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
