Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
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