So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
