So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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