im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
