Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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