i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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