Your dad touched me again.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
