its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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