as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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