I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
