I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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