ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
