I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
