dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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