You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
