I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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