If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize