Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Less talking, more tequila
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
