I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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