i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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