i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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