Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
