Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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