Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
