Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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