The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
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