There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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