That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
