his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
There's a naked man in my car right now.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
