i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
