btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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