office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
