If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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