I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
